I'm Happy, isn't it that Enough?

before you read this, i would like to say that i did not write this. a friend of mine did
here is the link to read and fav it: http://kerikaru.deviantart.com/art/perception-422972844
its below the actual poem she posted

I never had many qualms with how I looked.
It wasn't until I decided I felt better
dressing in boys' clothes on some days, and
girls' clothes on others
that I suddenly felt trapped every time someone looked at me.

It wasn't until I heard them asking me
why I chose to look like a boy most days
and praising me on the days I looked like a “pretty girl”;
it wasn't until then that I started to be more conscious
of the way strangers looked at me.

And suddenly I was thinking of everyone:
the way my classmates looked at me, and
the way people I've known my whole life
looked at me.

And I realized that I had been
“normal”
I fit the stereotype
on the outside.
And on those days, back then,
I didn't think of anyone else.
It wasn't until I broke out of that stereotype
that I felt insecurity over something as simple
as how I looked.

I never felt insecure
over how I looked.
And that's a lucky thing to some people
and it's terrifying to realize now
that even though I'm comfortable
in how I dress, and how I look;
I am uncomfortable
every time someone else looks at me.
Because even if it's just an innocent glance
I can't see it as that anymore.

It feels like judgement.

You asked me when I was going to start
wearing pretty clothes.
You asked me when I was going to stop
wearing boys' clothes.
You asked me when I was going to start
acting like a girl.
So the next time you ask me when,
I am going to ask you
what it means
to act
like
a girl.

I am going to ask you
the definition
of stereotype.
I am going to ask you
the definition
of acceptance.

I am going to ask you
that if I kept being this way
would you still love me?
Or are you going to just
keep waiting for me to grow out
of something that I am going to live with
for the rest
of
my
life?

Are you going to keep waiting to understand
why
when the answer is so simple?

( I'm happy )
( Isn't it enough? )

My One Sided Love

Why do I even bother with him?
I know that my love is only one sided.
He knows that my love is only one sided.
HE KNOWS.
WHY do I even bother?
What makes me want to go on?

Do I want to make him suffer?
What use would that do?
Will I be happy?
Or will I feel guilty?
Do I want to make him mine?
We both know that's not happening.
We both know he still has a girlfriend.

Please make up your mind.
I can't take it anymore.