August 3rd, 2011

My two most prize possessions
taken away from me
because of a stupid mistake.
Yesterday felt like a horrible
nightmare but I realized
it wasn't just a dream.
Next morning I had a feeling of fear 
and I didn't know what to do anymore.
I didn't listen to people.
I act like I'm brave.
But in reality I wish
I can control myself
instead of face the consequences
of my nightmares.
I am making too much mistakes
at an age of sixteen.
Not so long ago I did the exact same thing
but it wasn't so bad.
Now I feel that life is beginning to fall
and my hopes are beginning to crumble.
But for some reason,
I still believe I can move on.
I believe that I can face my consequences
and deal with them until I get to learn
how to really control myself.

Haikus

Boy silently sat

As scissors snip small red tufts

That falls down faintly.

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Taken out of stove

Small steam rose from potatoes

And gravy shriveled.

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As sunlight flashed on trees
In Fletcher's Woods, dad showed son
Leaves changing autumn.

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Cap lay on table

Blackberries juice grows inside

And its skins stuck on.

The Truth about Me

Why did you make me do that?

I’m so sorry;

I didn't mean to curse at you.

I said I DON’T WANT TO!

Why can’t you understand?

Why are you even doing this to me?

Stop making me cry;

I didn't do anything to you!

Leave me alone!

I just want to die.

My life is so useless.

I’m so useless, retarded,

Ugly, helpless, stupid,

Clumsy, weak, stubborn,

Annoying, and guilty.

I’m such a liar, idiot,

And crybaby.

I didn't do anything bad.

Please don’t be mad and judge me.

No one in this world understands me.

There’s nothing you can do about it.

The reason I have been so happy is that

I don’t want to be a burden to you,

To show how I truly feel,

And I don’t want to be weak.

It is true that I don’t know about you:

Your feelings, your emotions and your past.

I would like to know but yet again

I wouldn't care because

You wouldn't care for me.

Please Just Save Me

I sit in my room
As I count my wet tears
Coming down my face
And I know that I cannot stop,
But I know that I should suffer

Through the pain in my heart.

As I walk through the empty, cold hallways
I feel emptiness.
The entrance was filled with strangers.
And when I look at them,
They give me this awful glare
Like I’m ugly, horrible, or even
Disgusting.

Alone

No one wants me.
No one cares about me.
And no one even likes me.
I’m left alone in this desolate, dark world.
Somebody,

Please Just Save Me.

I escape from that horrible place,
Go to the park

Where it’s raining and thundering,
And sit on the swing sets alone.
I realize that it’s pointless to run away.

When I checked my watch,
it said, 8:30 p.m.
That was the same time

Alone on swings

my parents died - two weeks ago.
I didn't really care when they died

Because they didn’t care for me.

I was so deep in thought that I

Didn’t notice a boy swinging next to me.
I didn't understand why he staring at me
But he looked lonely like me.

He looked at me.
I looked at him.
He offered his hand to me and asked,
“Will you be my friend?”
I cried and when I held his hand,
I fell in love and we spent time together.

I cried when he died.
It was my fault that he died.

He tried to save me from an oncoming ambulance.

But instead he was hit.
I was 16 years old and he was 19.

Please Just Save Me

I sit in my room
As I count my wet tears
Coming down my face
And I know that I cannot stop,
But I know that I should suffer
Through the pain in my heart.

Please Just Save Me.

To My Dear and Loving Sister

When I see your face smile at me,

It reminds of my favorite tea.

Your perfect, pretty picture of you,

Reminds me of Winnie the Pooh.

I still remember the good times we have and

The worst or bad times we did not plan.

I still love you no matter what happens.

You could be tapping, rapping or snapping.

I would still love you better than anyone in this world because

You are my Santa Claus.

Your laugh is like music to my ears.

Promise me that you will never disappear.

Music to my ears~

My World Lyrics

In my world...there is only you

Warning these are not my lyrics
Link to song
The fastest man in the world
Fast asleep at the wheel
Nobody wants to be alone,
So how did I get...here?

When I look at you...
I see him starin' through
Awake, and a smile
'Cause he's been inside of you

Is he all the things you
Tried to change me into?
Is he everything to you?

Does he make you high?
Make you real?
Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?

Love is all around you.
Your universe is full
But in my world...
There is only you.

I can still find the smell...
On my clothes and skin...
I can still see your face
When you're sleeping next to him.


Is he all the things you
Tried to change me into?
Tell me does he make you high?
Make you real?

Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?



Love is all around you.
Your universe is full
But in my world...
There is only you.

I had my fears
You let them out
Now I wrap myself around you
Like a blanket full of doubt
The darkness grows...
The sunlight stings...
He's your everything...


Does he make you high?
Does he make you real?

Does he make you cry?
Does he know the way you feel?


Love is all around you.
Your universe is full
But in my world...

You make me high
You make me real
You make me cry
Now you know the way I feel


Love is all around you.
Your universe is full
But in my world...
...There is only you.