Emptiness

Emptiness
is all I ever feel.
Laying on glass,
looking at the blank sky;
nothing moving.
And yet I don't feel
any sadness or happiness.
Just Empty.

I could just stand up

and move to a new destination
where I would feel something;
anything at all.
But what is the use moving
to a place I might be unhappy?
Can't I just stay here in this empty
and boring world?
Feeling nothing?

Sounds boring
and pretty pathetic.
It's not always fun to
be alone
feeling nothing but emptiness...

I'll finally be Free

I want to shoot my heart into a thousand pieces
and let all the pain gush out of me.
I want to forget all the horrible and stupid mistakes
I have done.
I wish I could start my life over,
not feeling so guilty.
But you only live once...
or do you?

I regret so many things,
but I have to suck it up and deal with it.
I tell myself, "Keep ignoring them. 
Don't let them get into your head. Fight them.
Forget them. Keep surviving. Don't give up.

Be Brave. Move on."

Sooner or later, I'll be free from guilt;
free from regret.
I'll be happy.
I'll finally be free.

Just Go Away.

I ask you to leave me be
but you don't.
Why can't you understand
I want my privacy?
Do I have to simply
yell at you to go away?
You are a bother to me.
I hate you for all those
horrible things you do to me.
What have I done wrong?
Do you think you're protecting me?
Do you think this is all for my own good?
YOU DON'T FRICKEN CARE.
You're just an annoying brother
who likes to get me into trouble.
Be thankful I didn't give up on living.

I'm Happy, isn't it that Enough?

before you read this, i would like to say that i did not write this. a friend of mine did
here is the link to read and fav it: http://kerikaru.deviantart.com/art/perception-422972844
its below the actual poem she posted

I never had many qualms with how I looked.
It wasn't until I decided I felt better
dressing in boys' clothes on some days, and
girls' clothes on others
that I suddenly felt trapped every time someone looked at me.

It wasn't until I heard them asking me
why I chose to look like a boy most days
and praising me on the days I looked like a “pretty girl”;
it wasn't until then that I started to be more conscious
of the way strangers looked at me.

And suddenly I was thinking of everyone:
the way my classmates looked at me, and
the way people I've known my whole life
looked at me.

And I realized that I had been
“normal”
I fit the stereotype
on the outside.
And on those days, back then,
I didn't think of anyone else.
It wasn't until I broke out of that stereotype
that I felt insecurity over something as simple
as how I looked.

I never felt insecure
over how I looked.
And that's a lucky thing to some people
and it's terrifying to realize now
that even though I'm comfortable
in how I dress, and how I look;
I am uncomfortable
every time someone else looks at me.
Because even if it's just an innocent glance
I can't see it as that anymore.

It feels like judgement.

You asked me when I was going to start
wearing pretty clothes.
You asked me when I was going to stop
wearing boys' clothes.
You asked me when I was going to start
acting like a girl.
So the next time you ask me when,
I am going to ask you
what it means
to act
like
a girl.

I am going to ask you
the definition
of stereotype.
I am going to ask you
the definition
of acceptance.

I am going to ask you
that if I kept being this way
would you still love me?
Or are you going to just
keep waiting for me to grow out
of something that I am going to live with
for the rest
of
my
life?

Are you going to keep waiting to understand
why
when the answer is so simple?

( I'm happy )
( Isn't it enough? )

My One Sided Love

Why do I even bother with him?
I know that my love is only one sided.
He knows that my love is only one sided.
HE KNOWS.
WHY do I even bother?
What makes me want to go on?

Do I want to make him suffer?
What use would that do?
Will I be happy?
Or will I feel guilty?
Do I want to make him mine?
We both know that's not happening.
We both know he still has a girlfriend.

Please make up your mind.
I can't take it anymore.

Just Thinking about You

I think about you
even though I have work to do
and things to accomplish.
I should be thinking of 
other important factors, but
my mind starts to wonder off
and you appear in my mind.

My image of you
just fills my heart.

I like the way you would

talk to me,
and how you would smile with me.

I wish we could be together

with my parent's approval.

But I guess there's a hidden meaning
why we can't be together.
But I’m glad we're still friends
even if we both know

that we like one another.

So why did fate bring us together?

Forgive Me?

I could say "I love you" a thousand times,
but you wouldn't care.
I could say that I care for you,
but it wouldn't matter to you.
I wonder if you even loved me.
I wonder if you ever cared.

How am I supposed to smile
when all you do is smile
at someone else?
How am I supposed to forgive you
if you're not even sorry?

I thought we had a connection.
I thought you cared.
But I guess I thought wrong.
You broke my heart
and you're not even sorry.
I won't forgive you.