Hopeless

Why am I even here?
Why am I even alive?
Why on earth would I
want to live longer
if I'm already suffering?

Why can't I just end my life
right now?
What's holding me back?
Is it fear?
Why am I afraid?
Or rather,
what am I afraid of?
The after-life perhaps?
Or simply just
nothing?

Now that I think about it,
it does seem a little bit scary.
But some day,
I will have to face the consequences
and meet that fear.