Another set of Feelings

Someone please help me.

Someone please stop this pain within me.

I want it gone...

It is tearing me in shreds;

I just can’t take it anymore.

I try to forget...

but I fail at the end.

Please come save me.

I'm so sorry...

I see your name on my email and

I desperately want to talk to you.

But I can’t because my future

depends on me and my actions.

I can’t risk the temptations of talking to you.

I only have one life and one chance to get into college

and see the world.

Can you understand that?

It’s not like I’m purposely ignoring you.

I just can’t talk to you right now.

It breaks my heart to see you trying.

I’m so sorry.

Please understand.

You make lemonade :)

This world is a messed up world.

What happened to comfort?

What happened to caring?

What happened to, “Let’s change the world together!”?

Did that all just disappear?

Life is unfair and cruel.

Did you really think you will get a happy ending?

Did you really think you can just sleep away

all your problems?

Did you really think your parents will be there

with you forever?

Did you really think your friends will help you

every single day of their lives?

Think again.

Not everything you have imagined

will turn out perfect

or what you have wanted.

Instead, it will be just what you didn't expect.

Sometimes what you don’t expect

comes out positive.

And you think again that maybe

this world isn't as bad as it seems.

Even though life may be unfair and cruel,

but when life chucks at you with lemons,
you either chuck them back or

you make lemonade.

I Do What I Want

I Do What I Want
whether you like it or not.
You can't always tell me
what I can or cannot do.
Maybe you can ... but
will I listen to your desires?

Sometimes I know that you
always want the best out of me,
but sometimes you can get
a little out of hand.

I may not know everything by now,

but you do not have to protect me
every second of my life.
Let me learn from my mistakes
even if I do it repeatedly.
Don't be angry for not listening
to your requests, your desires,
your hopes and dreams ...
because maybe, in the future,
I will become someone
you will not expect in life.
Someone not like you.
But maybe, if you get lucky,
I'll become someone
you will be proud of
no matter what.

It's time to say goodbye...

By the time I say good bye...
You won't care anymore...
By the time I come back...
You still won't care I came back.
If I asked of you to give me one more chance...
Will you give it to me?
Even I promise you something in return?
I never thought losing your closest friends
would hurt so much...
I never thought sadness could overcome you...
But I can never stop and die...
I can move on and forget all those precious memories we made,
held and spend together.
I hope you too have a happy life without me being there...
to see all of your smiling faces.
I wish I could change who I am...
but it takes practice and no one is perfect...
And well...Goodbye...for now.

Just a Mere Endless Trap

Can't you see that you are already in my trap?

Why aren't you struggling to get out?

Do you not want your freedom?

Do you not want to find your perfect girl?

For I am not your perfect girl…

I don’t believe I was your perfect girl in the first place.

I know there’s no such thing as a perfect girl,

but trust me,

I'm just a mere endless trap,

a hole in the ground.

Some people see it, but others don’t.

The people who do fall in manage to get out.

But others just stay here in my endless trap.

Why are you here?

Why am I here?

Didn't I tell you? I’m just a mere trap.

I want you to be free…away from me.

Can't you see that I want to see you smile?

I never intended to hurt you.

But in the end, I do because I’m just a mere endless trap.

My Endless Trap

I can’t get you out of my mind…

I don’t think my heart can take this…

this love…

There are so many secrets to keep, yet

my heart is about to burst.

I want to share the world what I feel…

but I know that I cannot

for I have made everyone a promise.

I don’t want to break my promise

like I did in the past…

I don’t want to fall into my endless trap.

I don’t want you to fall into my trap.

I hope you can soon be free…

for you do not want to be here…

in my endless trap.